She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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