I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
