Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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