butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
