His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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