In America we eat man semen.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they're like a gay fantastic four
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize