haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
