So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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