You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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