Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
