I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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