My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
