dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
