I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize