There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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