Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
