We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Damn victory sex feels great
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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