her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
