I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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