sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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