i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
