i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize