Duck Duck Cougar?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
