First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize