Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize