Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
