if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
dude. I can hear the air.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
