to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
