there's paper in my vomit.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
