What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
