i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
