YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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