Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
