youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
