i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
