just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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