Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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