The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
