help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
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