he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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