I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
