Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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