Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
