SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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