there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
