You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
