He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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