If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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