I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize