hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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