No awkward lesbian experiences without me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
