I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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