You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
