Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
