Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
