whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
