when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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