I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize