it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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