Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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