Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
